You’ve probably heard the saying “a healthy mind creates a healthy body”, so here’s the three A’s to get you started on self-improvement:
Do your actions have a consequence? I always say there are two types of people. Cause people make things happen and effect people are victims of circumstance – the latter is always bemoaning their bad luck and say things like ‘I was late because there was too much traffic,’ ‘it’s not my fault’ or ‘she messed things up.’ Be honest. What are you moaning about in your life right now?
When I shift my attitude and take full responsibility for what’s going on in my life, I’m empowered; I have more control and choice to do something about it! When you shift your attitude to be on the ‘cause’ side of the equation it empowers you to act and make changes in your life. When you’re on the effect side of the equation, you will never get to the self-improvement phase because you are blaming other people.
Let me tell you the story of Kelly. She was being bullied at work, was overweight and in a bad relationship. It would have been easy to blame her boss bullying her for low self-esteem and over-eating to compensate for those feelings. Instead, she hired a coach, enrolled in a transformational NLP (neuro linguistic programming) program and shifted herself to the cause side of the equation. She took back her power and stood up to her boss, had the courage to leave a bad relationship and having lost 30kg she’s looking fabulous!
Have you been to the movies recently? If the movie was not good it’s unlikely you would rush back for a ticket to see it again, yet chances are, you are running the same thought patterns over and over again. According to research, the average thought lasts between six to ten seconds so if you are repeatedly feeding your mind with negative images and sounds then you are going to be trapped in a downward spiral.
It was in the late 1960s that neurotransmitters were discovered. Neurotransmitters are chemicals that travel through the body carrying messages. Deepak Chopra described it by saying every cell in your body is bathed in neurotransmitters, which also means each cell is eavesdropping on your internal self-chatter. Simply put, all cells in your body know what you are thinking.
Consider the impact on the physical body if you are running the same thoughts for a whole day, or a week, a month, a year, five years, even 20 years. You can then begin to understand why so many people develop psycho-somatic illnesses and diseases in their body. Negative thoughts in the mind such as ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘I don’t deserve anything better,’ ‘I’ll never amount to anything,’ and low self-esteem have a huge impact on your body. Pay attention to your thoughts and listen to the language you are using to yourself on a regular basis.
Is it helping you or harming you? The late Steven Covey said “we do not see the world as the world is, we see the world as we are.” Your outer world acts as a mirror to what you choose to think. In a world where you often notice more of what is wrong than what is right, it’s time to be a quality shopper. That means you should start looking for the best in yourself and others, otherwise your road to self-improvement will promptly come to a dead end.
Have you heard that saying – you can lead the horse to water but you can’t make it drink! If you want to change somebody’s mind and they don’t want to change their mind it won’t work because the responsibility for change lies 100 per cent with the person making the change.
Sebastien was not satisfied with the life he was living. He was in an unhealthily relationship and felt his life had reached a plateau. Not only that, he had less energy – he was less excited about life. He realised that if he wanted to change he had to take action. So he started reading books about self-improvement and attended personal development workshops. He told me that during the program he worked on being the person he needed to be in order to attract and allow a healthy loving relationship. Shortly after he met his now wife.
A skeptic would say that’s just a coincidence and Sebastien knows better. He broke through his limiting beliefs and started to understand how to transform into the person he wanted to be to create that relationship. Ask yourself if you are supporting your success or sabotaging yourself. Remember, you have the power to change the way you think – only you can make that self-improvement happen.
Carol Talbot is the author of You, the Divine Genius, and combines the edginess of systems such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and Fire Walking with the ‘coal face’ of business and life.