Any other business

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And now for something a little bit funny…

3 Mins

A man was driving along the motorway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50mph. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75mph and the chicken passed him up! Then the man noticed the chicken had three legs. So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.

He asked the farmer "What’s up with these chickens?"

The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three-legged bird. I’m going to be a millionaire."

The man asked him how they tasted.

"Don’t know," says the farmer. "Haven’t caught one yet."

***

Customer: "But if it costs you £10 to make each of these watches, and you’re selling them for a tenner, how do you make any profit?""Easy," replies the shopkeeper. "By repairing them."

***

This guy has just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who’s stepping down meets with him privately and presents him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve," he says.

Well, things go along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales take a downturn and he’s really catching a lot of heat. At his wit’s end, he remembers the envelopes. He goes to his drawer and takes out the first envelope. The message reads: "Blame your predecessor." The new CEO calls a press conference and tactfully lays the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press – and the City – respond positively, sales begin to pick up and the problem is soon behind him.

About a year later, the company is again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opens the second envelope. The message reads: "Reorganize." This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again falls on difficult times. The CEO goes to his office, closes the door and opens the third envelope. The message says: "Prepare three envelopes."

Related articles Jokes, japes and jiggery pokery The Real Business jokes of the week! Your Friday dose of business humour

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