God bless the internet. Nowhere else could you find such a rich resource of satire, mud-slinging and silliness.
RB’s ribs are aching. First up, the Daily Mash unearths a dastardly banking conspiracy. "Banks not happy until all that’s left is banks!" screams the headline.
Here are the highlights:-
"The banks will not rest until they have destroyed everything that is not a bank, experts claimed last night. Economists now believe the international banking industry is in the final stages of a detailed plan designed to bankrupt everyone and then kill them.
"The last remaining bits of cash will be held by Mervyn King, sitting alone in his office in Threadneedle Street. But the banks will hunt him down and devour him like a horde of rabid zombie vampires.
"They will then bulldoze away the ruins of everything that was not a bank and build a new society filled with pathetic little men who spend all day lending each other money and rubbing used tenners into their groin."
Then there’s the Weekly World News, which is (and I quote) "The world’s only reliable news", reporting on president-elect Barack Obama.
Prepare for the weirdness: The WWN has been on the trail of Obama’s half human, half bat brother Obtama since October.
I’ll let you digest this oddball statement.
Yes, apparently, Obatma has been living in a cave in the Karura Forest outside Nairobi and was discovered by a wandering scientist. Following a DNA check, it was revealed he is in fact Obama’s brother. Check out the wonderfully creepy images. And while you’re browsing, you might want to check out Sarah Palin’s alter-ego Sarah Palien.
While we’re sending up political figures, did you realise there are umpteen videos of our Prime Minister picking his nose all over Youtube. His sticky-fingered habit is infamous in Parliament. Watch him indulging his bad habit, complete with "Mm" noises as he licks his fingers.
And finally, a couple of witticisms for you to use over the dinner table tonight, as your nearest and dearest bemoan the state of the economy.
"The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity."
"All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy."
Have a wonderfully silly afternoon, readers.