News

Got you! A round-up of the best April Fools news stories

5 min read

31 March 2015

Former editor

Whether you're gullible and in need of guidance, or just fancy a good laugh, Real Business has brought together what we think are the best April Fools jokes from the world of business – and there are some crackers.

Hailo diversifies its offering:

Taxi app booking firm Hailo used the guise of April Fools to launch its Piggyback function. Available to those using the service on their smartphones, customers can book a “specially trained” human piggyback carrier – who will arrive “in a matter of minutes”.

Packaged up as a great way to “dart in between traffic”, Hailo said its Piggybackers had bene hired because of their “athleticism and knowledge of the city”.

Available in a range of sizes and shapes, and providing a “360 degree view surroundings”, Piggybacker are available at the tap of a button.

Redspottedhanky.com responds to customer demand:

Perhaps in reaction to news at the turn of the year involving a male train traveller who had tweeted Virgin trains after discovering the toilet roll in his carriage had run out, train booking app redspottedhanky.com revealed it would be helping those foolish enough to be in the same situation with an update to its app.

Allowing train passengers to alert a train conductor directly “when toilet disasters strike”, it also claims to have the ability to hold a train in the station for up to ten minutes you want to get off at if you’re not quite finished on the throne.

Explaining the “innovation”, redspottedhankey.com director Gareth Woodhouse said: “Our revolutionary app will help rail customers avoid potentially embarrassing situations to ensure their train experience is the best possible.”

Other features on the app include a “hottie alert button”, which will tell you if they’re single and online, and an “annoying passengers” option.

Virgin moves to Branson, Missouri:

Never one to pass up the opportunity for a good rib tickler, Richard Branson’s Virgin went over all family. Declaring that he had found “long-lost relations’ in the city of Branson, Missouri, the company’s founder said his great great uncle Reuben S Branson as the “original all-American entrepreneur”

As such, Branson (the British business builder) announced his the Virgin Group’s US operations, and part of its UK set up, would be moving to Branson, Missouri.

Starting with a new flight service to Branson from San Francisco, the move will be followed by a Virgin hotel in the city and then an “luxury property” offering “exclusive wagon trails”.

Its firm and production company, Virgin Produced, will be filming its next feature there, while Virgin Mobile USA will be stocked in Branson’s Walmart store.

The new Samsung Galaxy BLADE edge:

Ever wanted to have a better phone companion when you’re cooking? Well now you can. Technology giant Samsung has unveiled the “ultimate cooking” companion, its Galaxy BLADE edge. Its edge is so sharp and strong that it can also double up as a chef’s knife.

Claiming to very much make all kitchen knives “obsolete”, it features a diamond-cut finish on a ceramic body. Also equipped with a “razor-sharp” diamond edge capable of cutting through lobster tail as well as “tender heirloom tomatoes”.

Galaxy BLADE edge features a set of sensors and algorithms that analyse grip, dexterity and strength, setting the weight in “optimal proportion to create the perfect rhythm and inertia”. It also has KNOX Security meaning the blade will retract before it cuts skin.

And one up for debate….

Amazon’s Dash Button for quick purchases:

Never again will you have to log on to your computer and have to deal with the unbearable drain of one-click purchasing after Amazon launched its Dash Button.

Coming in a range of branded widgets based on the product it will be ordering, users will be able to affix them to appliances of choice (washing machine, fridge, toilet roll holder, etc).

Set up using the Amazon mobile app, and connected via WiFi, it’s possible you’ll never have to visit your local shop again.