How to keep cool when others are losing their heads

1. In the thick of it, now what?

In the midst of anger, heightened stress and feeling overwhelmed we usually have limited capacity to think beyond the current circumstances. It feels all too real and endless.   

Suggestions: 

– Wait 24 hours before sending out that email or text message.
– Avoid making drastic changes as decisions made in heightened states of mind will only honour a very singular point of view.
– Don’t try and resolve the situation now. You can’t solve the problem with the same emotions that created the problem.
– Take time out, hit the gym, watch a movie, read a book, etc. The point is to distract yourself.

Think about resolving the issue only when you are in a more cantered and calm state of mind.

2. What is your baseline?

Our state of mind and emotions are with us everywhere we go and we often have a couple of very familiar emotions that essentially live with us – our baseline emotions. Discovering your baseline is the first step to improving how you usually feel on a daily basis.

Imagine a street lined with houses. Each house represents an emotion. If you were living on this street, which house would you call your home? In other words, which emotion are you usually waking up with every day and sleeping with every night? 

What is good about having this emotion as your baseline? What is not so good? What is causing you to hold on to this emotion? What would it be like if you could choose any emotion as your baseline? Do you think there is a possibility to change your baseline?

3. The best cure is prevention. 

Start setting your intention for how you want to feel every day. A simple mantra such as ‘Today I intend to feel good, positive and productive’ works wonders. Before sleeping at night, check in on how you felt during the day and think about how you would like to feel the next morning. 

By raising your awareness, setting your own standards and checking-in on how you feel on a regular basis, you will shift your baseline and spot the triggers which can keep you from being centre red. 

4. Be bold

Now that you have your daily mantra, be bold and strong enough to use it. Think about what and who you give your attention to and how it affects your energy levels and mood. 

Does hanging around with people who use fear and gossip to get through the day actually serve you? Do you feel drained or miserable in the company of some people? Are you a dumping point for people to come and release their anguish? Be bold enough to reduce your exposure to these sorts of energy drains.   

Malminder Gill is an experienced exec coach and a certified master practitioner in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). 

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