Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: “You know, I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.” Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: “Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.” Gordon says: “Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy.” The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them, and says: “I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole f***ing country happy.”
A man went to his bank manager and said: “I’d like to start a small business. How do I go about it?” “Simple,” said the bank manager. “Buy a big one and wait.”
Allied Carpets went into administration this morning after a year of sweeping their losses under the rug…
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Marks and Spencers has announced they are in financial trouble. They have merged with Poundstretcher.
They will now be known as Stretch Marks.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a £2 coin in one hand and two 50p pieces in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the two 50ps and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy next to an ice cream van.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?” he says. “Why did you take two 50ps instead of the £2 coin?”
The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied,
“Because, the day I take the £2 coin, the game is over.”
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