Why parents struggle with flexible working

“It flipped a switch. I took out all frustration of this inflexible, expensive daycare system on this poor woman who is simply a cog in a hulking great machine that needs oil – a system that left me earning approximately £3 an hour after nursery costs were paid.”

It’s a system that’s priced nearly half a million British mothers out of work according to think tank IPPR (Institute for Public Policy Research) and it’s a system that leaves parents frazzled and shouting at those who are there to help, not hinder, Whitehouse adds.”It’s a system that led me to launching Flex Appeal – a campaign to push for flexible working for all. For those with mental health issues, for those with caring responsibilities, for those living with disabilities; for those simply wanting to live.”For Armstrong, campaigning for working parents comes from this demographic’s need for a unifying voice rather than a cause.”When I interview families about childcare, those with two parents almost always mentally deduct the cost of childcare from the mother’s income rather than from the whole household view,” she explains.

“So – say if their income between them is £40k, they don’t deduct childcare from that number – they compare it to what the mum earns and decide if she works based on that. Which is why you often hear women saying ‘you know after working a full month, I only have £50 to take home’ but you rarely hear men saying it. This is why expensive childcare tends to push women out of the workforce and we lose their talent.”

Working fathers are not exempt

Working fathers are not exempt from the pressures of having a career and wanting to be there for their children. “I speak as a father, as an employer and owner of a business, and as someone that has worked for over 20 years in talent acquisition. Yes, for a living I help companies to recruit and retain key talent, and I do so in very niche markets with small talent pools,” says executive search expert David Hunt.According to Hunt, the working world is fortunately very different now than it was when he had his first two children, now 19 and 15 years old. “At that time, as an ambitious and career-focused young man I was forced to make sacrifices that I wouldn’t now make. I had a long commute, rigid and long office hours, and much time working away. It was tough. I justified the sacrifices by the money I earned and the house and comforts I was able to provide my family.”Now, as a father of a 5-year-old, he says he has not had to make anywhere near as many sacrifices, crediting part of it to being his own boss.

“You may say, ‘that’s fine if you run your own business, you can do what you want’. Anyone that is the founder of a startup will tell you the demands are as great, if not greater than any ‘job’ or career role.”

“I’d say the difference is in technology, mentality and enlightenment, also (let’s be honest, we all operate as people and as businesses) in enlightened self-interest,” he explains.

A new report release on 15 May reveals that half of UK dads have experienced discrimination after accepting parental leave. The struggle is real.

The research from PowWowNow has revealed that almost 50% of dads who have accepted their allocated parental leave have been discriminated against in the workplace. The research was carried out to assess the impact and uptake of shared parental leave (SPL) on fathers in the workplace.

What is shared parental leave?

Shared parental leave (SPL) was introduced in 2015 to allow parents to share up to 50 weeks of leave and 37 weeks of statutory pay between them following the birth of a child and is designed to allow couples to split child-caring roles more equally.

According to the research, a huge 25% of fathers suffered verbal abuse or mockery after taking time off to look after their child. The survey further found that over 35% of new dads suffered a negative impact on their career after exercising their right to parental leave. Of these, 17% suffered job loss, while nearly 20% received a demotion.

This data follows the revelation that last year only 9,200 new parents took shared parental leave – just 1% of those eligible to do so.

It claims that large numbers of dads in insecure work, such as agency workers and those on zero-hours contracts, are not eligible for it.

Additionally, men and women who are self-employed don’t have any shared leave rights at all.

The TUC argues that participation is low because the scheme is so poorly paid (£145.18 per week) making it unaffordable for most fathers. Some companies do go the extra step in supporting both parents with paternity leave.

How does SPL currently work?

Pay and leave must be shared in the first year after the child is born or placed with the family.

Shared parental leave can be taken in blocks separated by periods of work, or all in one go. Parents can also choose to be off work together or to stagger the leave and pay.

Parents receive £145.18 a week or 90% of average weekly earnings, whichever is lower.

Emma O’Leary, HR Director at ELAS, explains how SPL must be communicated to your employer.

“If an employee is eligible, they must opt into the SPL scheme by notifying their employer of their entitlement and intention to take SPL at least eight weeks before the proposed period of leave.”

The notice must contain a declaration by the other parent consenting to the proposed SPL, she adds.

“It must also specify the start and end dates of any SPL, either as a single period of continuous leave or a pattern of periods of leave.”

Why working parents face imposter syndrome

It’s a problem affecting all working parents, and the SMEs that hire them. But women tend to bear the brunt of it. Lisa Unwin believes that these conversations will force a societal shift that needs to happen. “I’ve worked with many mothers returning after a long career break and without exception they are inspirational, They are fired up. Returning is hard and they’ve had to put a lot in place to make this happen, unlike the thousands for whom tomorrow will just be another day at the office.  Don’t let your assumptions blind you to the opportunity.”

“Mothers returning after a break bring with them years of training and experience. That hasn’t gone away. They’ve had lives not lobotomies.”