Severe Monday Morningitis! Am endeavouring to house train my horrible little dog through the night. Woke every two hours, staggered downstairs and stood shivering by back door, while aforesaid animal lay curled up in the warmth of my bedroom sniggering at me. Result was, inevitably, that I oversleep drastically. Some people can cope with this. It turns me into a gibbering wreck. I am physically incapable of attempting to move without three cups of tea at the best of times. When I oversleep, it takes more tea and I still feel like bursting into tears for several hours. Attempt dressing – clothes feel too tight (and this is before Christmas!), hair refuses to obey any laws of gravity, and humour finally evaporates on drive to work when sound won’t turn up on stereo. Only metres to go, when I discover have been turning the cigarette lighter instead of the stereo knob. Coach has instructed me to stay strong until Christmas but energy and intelligence levels are definitely on the wane.