The Apprentice: our prediction

You could say that Sir Alan and Sarah Montague are not a marriage made in heaven. Awkward silences, a bad line and one or two exasperated harrumphs from Herr Sugar left us in little doubt about what he thinks about an early-morning grilling.

Of course, Montague was right to point out the flaw in The Apprentice: that someone does have to get hired. In real life, the presentation of this quartet would likely lead to a very sharp conversation with whoever was responsible for identifying the candidates; the words "is this the best you can do" would probably be the only repeatable bit.

Still, to coin one of the worst phrases of the age, we are where we are. And here’s our prediction for tonight.

Helene to be the first to go. Given one final chance to show what she’s made of, she does not a lot and Suralan finally snaps.

Lee is next out. Cue poignant "thanks for the opportunity, Sir Alan, it’s been wonderful, you’re marvellous, please let me stay etc etc etc." This boy really wants it.

Alex and Claire then battle it out. Somehow dopey Alex still emits a sense that, underneath it all, he’s actually useful.

But, finally, recognising previous sentimental errors in earlier series (cf, Michelle Dewbury), Sir Alan goes for the proven article. Claire wins, and is still talking at 4am tomorrow (and the day after, and the day after that…)

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