The right product image can shift a million products

The panties

If you scrolled straight down to see the secret behind the panties, then first off – congratulations, you’re now officially part of the ‘Shed Simove Perverts Club’ – of which I’m the founding (ahem) member. Second off, please ‘like’ this page so I’ll know how many pervs / members are out there. Third off, the panties that appear in the photo were actually found in my sock draw. And no, they’re not mine (green lace tends to suit my skin much better).

Cost: Free

The Ferrari keyring

I bought my first Ferrari keyring from eBay, but it was far too tacky when I opened it up (bearing in mind, I have a high threshold for tackiness – just see some of the products I make), so I decided to purchase a smart, silver ‘prancing horse’ keyring instead, even though it was way more expensive. Then, I just needed an actual key to go on it…

Cost: £14.90 + £2.99 = £17.89

The key

Just like the keyring, the first key I bought wasn’t quite right once it was delivered, so I visited a brilliant locksmith called Steve who runs a shop around the corner from me. He turned out to be like the ‘Keeper of the keys’ in the second Matrix movie, except that Steve wasn’t Chinese and he didn’t end up dead after our first meeting, either.

Steve found the perfect key for my Ferrari keyring and told me that it would cost twenty pounds because it had an electronic chip in it, but that he’d charge me only a fiver if I returned it after the photo-shoot. It’s wonderful to encounter such great customer service and from then on, I vowed to give Steve my future business whenever possible. After the shoot, I returned the key and refused the fiver back…

Cost: £2.99 + £5.00 = £7.99

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