Instead of trying to sell us discount Viagra, X-rated images or dodgy credit reports, the spambot has been preaching wise words and offering sage advice.
As a result, clearing out our junk email has been a joy rather than a chore. So in honour of whoever or whatever is brightening our day with these random statements, here is the Real Business Top Ten Pearls of Wisdom from Spambots!
May they enrich your life the way they have enriched ours.
1) "Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn’t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor."- The imagery this invokes is slightly disturbing but the underlying message is solid.
2) "A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means."- If only there were more good men out there (*sigh*).
3) "Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."- A pertinent comment about the upcoming US presidential election, perchance?
4) "While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness."- True that.
5) "Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage."- Good advice for those of us who will be fighting road rage as we scuttle out of London for the bank holiday weekend.
6) "O, it is excellent to have a giant’s strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant."- Yes, yes it is.
7) "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."- Lighthearted but makes you think, don’t it.
8) "Joy is prayer – Joy is strength – Joy is love – Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls."- Joy is good.
9) "Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly."- Say it ain’t so!
10) "We are what we repeatedly do."- Hmmm… what does that make us?
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