Facilities is the bedrock on which every other department poops.
If you could lump together every job you’d rather not do into one department you’d get accounts. Sorry, I mean facilities. Have you ever wondered who ensures the notices are taken down on the right day or who puts up the signs that tell you to wash your hands after using the toilet? No, me neither. But it’s the facilities department.
Colleagues of mine spent weeks doting over replacing the breakroom cups. They decided on a more eco-friendly variety. No-one noticed.
When I see someone walking around with a clipboard I feel a little jealous because they’ve escaped their desks. The envy subsides when I remember that they’re taking an inventory of clogged soap dispensers. It’s not all blocked soap dispensers, of course. It’s also blocked toilets.
But I’m not here to give the impression that members of the facilities department spend all of their times in the toilets, working and dropping the kids off at the pool. Far from it. The department also holds sway over “signage” (or “signs” if you’re a normal human being). Surely somebody has to tell you to watch your step or mind your head?
But what if the facilities department didn’t exist? What would we do without coffee machines and office lighting? Ah yes, sleep peacefully at our desks.
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