Reverend. Entrepreneur. Womaniser. Politician.
An old country vicar had a teenage son. He decided that it was about time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and he didn’t seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects:
a Bible
a silver dollar
a bottle of whisky
and a Playboy magazine
"I’ll just hide behind the door", the old vicar said to himself, "When he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up.
If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a holy man like me and what a blessing that would be!
If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.
But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard. Lord, what a shame that would be!
And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he’s gonna be a skirt-chasing bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as the boy entered the house and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket.
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month’s centerfold.
"Lord have mercy!" the old preacher whispered, crossing himself. "He’s going to run for Parliament!"
Silly bankers
A young banker decides to get his first tailor-made suit and goes to the finest tailor in London.
When he arrives for his first fitting, he puts on the suit and look in the mirror: he looks stunning. He knows he’ll be a force to be reckoned with in this suit.
As he stands preening himself in front of the mirror, he reaches down to put his hands in the pockets. But to his surprise he notices that there aren’t any.
He calls over the tailor and asks: "Where are the pockets to thsi suit?"
The tailor looks puzzled and replies, "Didn’t you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answeres, "Yes."
"Well, whoever heard of a banker who’d put his hand in his pocket?" laughs the tailor.
And some bad taste recession jokes…
25 stores closed…1230 jobs cut…This is not just any recession…
This is an M&S recession.
This guy is walking with his friend. He says to him, "You know Benny’s a walking economy?"His friend replies, "How so?""His hair line is in recession, his stomach is a victim of inflation, and together, these are putting him into a deep depression."
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